The major difference between childhood and adult bullying is in the workplace, bullying is often an admirable behavior. In a competitive marketplace, who better to make tough decisions, fire up performance and crunch numbers than a bully?
Five tips to consider before you take on a workplace bully:
Contrary to popular myth, bullies have a very high self-esteem, to the point of arrogance. They see nothing wrong with their behavior, and why should they if it’s been rewarded and promoted? Be prepared to have your reaction minimized as being “too sensitive,” or told you need to “grow a thicker skin.” In the bully’s mind, you are definitely the one with the problem.
1. Prepare for Battle
A workplace bully’s weapons of mass destruction include blaming others for errors (real or not), making unreasonable or inconsistent demands, criticism, belittling, exclusion, withholding information, sabotage and stealing credit. They don’t play fair, but avoid making this your argument.
2. Talk the Right Game
Bullies value power and status while victims value feelings and fairness. A signature bully characteristic is a lack of empathy. The biggest mistake victims make is telling a bully how he or she is affecting them emotionally or that the treatment is unfair. A bully does not care.
3. Build a Business Case
To successfully confront a workplace bully, you must build a case showing how he or she is hurting the bottom line. Quantify the costs of lowered productivity, stalled career advancement, turnover, healthcare costs due to stress, sick days and absences. Document evidence and gather willing witnesses. Exhaust the system in place before seeking legal counsel.
4. Weigh Your Options
In a tight economy, more employees are willing to endure bullying out of fear of unemployment. The reality is, just because you make a case, it doesn’t mean the work culture that promoted your nemesis will change. At least 50% of victims end up leaving their jobs. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t speak up, but you need a Plan B. Prepare yourself emotionally; most likely you are already drained and vulnerable. Seek the support of peers, friends, family and outside counseling.
5. Questions for Reflection
- What behaviors are rewarded in your business culture? Do bullies get promoted?
- Have you used bullying behavior like fear and intimidation to advance your own career?
- If a co-worker was being bullied, how would you react?
If you are a victim of workplace bullying, consider the real costs and document how this behavior hurts the bottom line.
We can help.
VITAL WorkLife has a wide variety of solutions aimed at addressing bullying in the workplace. Our approach can include everything from training on how to address conflict, understanding personality styles, one-on-one coaching with individuals to correct the problem and so much more. Call us to discuss your office jerk and we will work with you to customize a solution.
Call VITAL WorkLife any time, day or night, for the support you and your family need.
EAP members: call 800.383.1908
Physician/Provider Wellness Resources members: call 877.731.3949
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For more information about our comprehensive suite of well being solutions, call 800.383.1908.
About VITAL WorkLife
VITAL WorkLife, Inc. is a national behavioral health consulting company providing solutions to support all dimensions of an individual’s well being, while assisting organizations with improving employee engagement. Our approach consists of guiding employees, their families and their organizations in building sustainable, healthy behaviors and cultures. With over 35 years of experience, we have expanded beyond traditional employee assistance programs (EAP) and now offer comprehensive and holistic well being solutions including customizable programs, coaching, training, consulting and leadership development. We have deep experience in education, manufacturing and health care, especially assisting physicians and providers in dealing with the unique challenges facing their profession. Visit us at VITALWorkLife.com.
If you are a member of one of our solutions, call us any time, day or night, for the support you and your family need.
Source: Fee, S. (2010, November). Communication tip sheet: Taming workplace bullies. Retrieved February 9, 2011 from Workplace Options.